i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize