i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
