Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there's paper in my vomit.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
