Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
