Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
