Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
