this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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