he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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