Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
