I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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