You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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