no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You've changed since you got that strap on
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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