it was like eating out sand paper
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
