Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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