Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
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i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
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I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.