apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.