Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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(319): Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know. http://tfl.nu/c989

Replies (12) Good night (977) Bad night (3858)
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(352): View more from Florida

my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

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(352): my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better. http://tfl.nu/j6r0

Replies (17) Good night (1135) Bad night (5043)
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(636): View more from Missouri

ra ra ra ah ah

(573): View more from Missouri

wtf?

(636): View more from Missouri

sexting lady gaga style

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(636): ra ra ra ah ah (573): wtf? (636): sexting lady gaga style http://tfl.nu/2d0r

Replies (59) Good night (5316) Bad night (1685)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.

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(732): She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS. http://tfl.nu/97yj

Replies (85) Good night (9070) Bad night (1129)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.

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(978): his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave. http://tfl.nu/6huv

Replies (13) Good night (5626) Bad night (1331)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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(502): He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up. http://tfl.nu/onjv

Replies (12) Good night (1570) Bad night (4255)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas

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(815): Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas http://tfl.nu/uer1

Replies (2) Good night (2785) Bad night (869)
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(269): View more from Michigan

He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?

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(269): He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated? http://tfl.nu/6x14

Replies (16) Good night (1045) Bad night (3860)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...

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(608): There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position... http://tfl.nu/q8gr

Replies (3) Good night (2148) Bad night (754)
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(806): View more from Texas

It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.

(1-806): View more from Texas

It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.

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(806): It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation. (1-806): It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that. http://tfl.nu/9jn5

Replies (13) Good night (2118) Bad night (947)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight

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(617): You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33. (1-617): you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight http://tfl.nu/rpjk

Replies (5) Good night (2215) Bad night (598)
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(734): View more from Michigan

This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.

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(734): This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving. http://tfl.nu/sgt2

Replies (4) Good night (425) Bad night (549)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.

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(513): Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team. http://tfl.nu/xqxm

Replies (10) Good night (557) Bad night (390)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.

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(778): And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again. http://tfl.nu/11c3

Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (323)
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(714): View more from California

I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.

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(714): I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature. http://tfl.nu/j5ba

Replies (1) Good night (180) Bad night (411)

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