nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
