Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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(443): View more from Maryland

dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

(661): View more from California

Truer words have never been spoken.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"

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(435): View more from Utah

he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.

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(916): View more from California

Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!

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