Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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