I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
