your thong is hanging out like whoa
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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