i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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