You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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