I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
