it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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