you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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