um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
