Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
