Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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