There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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