I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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