Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
