Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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