You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
