I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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