hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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