Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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