Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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