I wish I only lived at night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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