I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
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i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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