Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
