Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
