VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
