perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
