batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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