alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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