At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize