my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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