That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Randomize
