I hate all girls vehemently.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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