i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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