make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
