I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
