Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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