He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
