I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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