he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
