I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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