Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
