im six kinds of drunk right now
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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