my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
