She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
