This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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