my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
